How important is sharing the same love language with your partner? Lopolo/Shutterstock An example would be if one partner likes holding hands (physical touch) and the other does not, or if one partner likes receiving compliments (words of affirmation) and the other doesn’t give them. Couples who are similar, as opposed to opposites, tend to be more attracted to one another, and have more sustainable relationships.Ĭhapman suggests that when relationship partners have different love languages it can lead to misunderstandings. Similarly, any “quiz” used to determine people’s love language has no integrity as a scientifically valid test.Īll this said, it would seem that people have a fascination with identifying their own and others’ love languages.Ĭompatibility in relationships is important. And there’s been minimal scientific evidence published to date to support the idea that people generally prefer to express and receive love in one of these five ways, or exploring how these love languages influence relationships. It’s a rather nebulous construct, comprising different components which are displayed and experienced in a variety of ways.Īlthough the love languages model has gained in popularity, it was developed based on observations, rather than rigorous research. The science is lackingĮveryone uses the word “love”, but in many respects, romantic love defies a precise definition. So, what can we make of the theory of love languages? Is there evidence behind it? Let’s take a look. A preference to express and receive love in one of these ways over the others would be an indication of a person’s principal love language. The five love languages he subsequently proposed are words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service and receiving gifts.

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The articles in this series explore the questions and bring answers as we navigate this turbulent period of life. From the challenges of beginning a career and taking care of our mental health, to the excitement of starting a family, adopting a pet or just making friends as an adult. This article is part of Quarter Life, a series about issues affecting those of us in our twenties and thirties.

Author of the five love languages